I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize