We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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