I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
