when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
