Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
