Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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