Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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