I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
