His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
