His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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