I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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