gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
