she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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