Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
