I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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