I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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