Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize