Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
