is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
