he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
