You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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