I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
