im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
