I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize