New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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