this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
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so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
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He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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