Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
