i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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