I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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