whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
