I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
