my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
