don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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