I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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