About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
