it hurts more in the daytime
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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