no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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