he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
