Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I touched a dick in church today
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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