i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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