I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
