R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
