last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
