She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
my liver is dry heaving
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
