My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
