Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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