Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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