Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
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