i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
