i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
