its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
