dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
