The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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