why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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