the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
