So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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