I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
