Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
