The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
4 words: hood of his car
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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