Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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