first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
