I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
