Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
