Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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