Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
