just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I lost the right to judge tonight
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
