i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
